What is a Conflict?
In Praise of Conflict
What Should We Do When Confronted With a Conflict
How Can We Recognize Violence and How can We Avoid It?
What is the Best Way to Settle Our Differences?
Learning Activities for Peaceful Conflict Resolution

The previous fact sheets presented the culture of peace as a way of living that can be practised by everyone. A culture of peace is thus a set of values that we can all choose to apply in our daily lives. One of the key values in a culture of peace, together with the five other points of the Manifest 2000[1] is to practise non-violence. When we think about violence, we often think about conflict, and when we think about conflict, we often think about wars or international disputes. Conflicts, however, occur in our daily lives. If a culture of peace is to take root in the Canadian way of doing things, it will be essential to develop a non-violent approach for conflicts between States[2] but also for conflicts between individuals. This fact sheet proposes certain approaches for the peaceful resolution of our differences. Other approaches can also be used and we invite you to look for more information about various techniques for settling conflicts. There is a section at the end of the fact sheet with links to Canadian groups dedicated to the peaceful resolution of individual conflicts. Though this list is not exhaustive, it does provide good leads for further research. Feel free to contact these groups.

What Is a Conflict?

“Conflict” is an often-used word. People often speak of conflicts of interest, conflict situations, armed conflicts and so on. However, do we really know what a conflict is? According to the Gage Canadian Dictionary, a conflict is a “direct opposition, disagreement or clash”.[3] A conflict therefore exists when two or more parties realize that their interests are incompatible, when these parties express hostile attitudes or undertake actions to the detriment of the other parties. The opponents in a conflict can be individuals, groups or countries. If we agree with this definition, conflicts are an inherent part of human nature; they cannot be avoided, but it is possible to learn to manage them better.

For example, we can come into conflict with our parents over religious issues which might be important for them but not for us, or visa versa. This is not only a conflict of personal values, but also one of generations. Pro-choice and pro-life groups likewise come into conflict. Finally, the disagreement between Canada and the United States concerning overdue payment of contributions to the United Nations is an example of conflict between countries.

The groups that compose a society have needs, interests and values that are sometimes incompatible. For instance, the conflict between pro-choice and pro-life groups arises out of diametrically opposed opinions, since one cannot be both for and against abortion. Furthermore, these groups do not have the same financial, human and material resources. They can therefore be in competition with each other for these resources, for the public’s acknowledgement and their social existence. Likewise, political parties, NGOs, community and religious groups compete for members. More members means more financial resources which in turn means more media attention and public visibility.

In Praise of Conflict

Nevertheless, differences do not necessarily lead to conflict. There can be other forms of social relations than conflicting ones. Mutual aid and cooperation are examples of other ways of establishing contact with other people. For example, two NGOs can work together on precise projects or two political parties can agree to defend a common cause.

This being said, conflicts are part of our everyday lives. Contrary to popular belief, however, conflicts are not inherently negative. Indeed, it is the way that we approach and resolve them that makes them good or bad. In other words, there are violent conflicts, but there are also “peaceful” conflicts.

Peaceful conflicts are ones in which the parties involved manage their differences in a non-violent way. A conflict becomes violent when one of the two parties tries to dominate or eliminate the other party in order to achieve its goals. Some people turn to violence even before trying to use the available mechanisms or institutions, such as laws, tribunals, elections and families, which can be used to peacefully resolve our conflicts. In addition to these mechanisms or institutions, there are also other ways to settle our conflicts. Not only do these methods help us save time and money, they also help us grow.

What Should We Do When Confronted With a Conflict?

We do not always know how to react when we are involved in a conflict. We often do not even have the time to think about our reaction. Here are some of the possible ways of reacting to a conflict:

Indifference

Ignorance

Self-analysis

Discussion

Violence

Indifference and ignorance could seem to be the best solutions to a conflict. This is not, however, the case, since these reactions often only make the situation worse. Think about it for a moment: what could be more insulting than being ignored when we disagree with a person or a group? Indeed, indifference or ignorance can easily lead to violence. Violent acts or words attract attention. It is likewise important to analyze ourselves and ask whether our behaviour might be at the root of the conflict. It is therefore important that we look inside ourselves to identify the causes of a conflict. The questions that we can ask ourselves are: does this sort of situation occur often in my life?; and, by re-evaluating my values and ways of acting, can I change these situations so as to eliminate these conflicts from my life? This inner discussion can then lead to a discussion with the various parties in the conflict. This is not, however, the easiest solution. All too often, we mistakenly see violence as the best solution. What is more, we do not necessarily recognize all forms of violence.

How Can We Recognize Violence and How Can We Avoid It?

Violence is everywhere in our society. It can be found in homes (family violence), at school (extortion, vandalism, racism, sexism, verbal and physical bullying and attacks), in sports (hockey) or on the road (road rage). Indeed, in today’s world, violence is presented as an acceptable way of settling our differences, as a way of showing our power and making ourselves heard, seen and acknowledged. Moreover, violence underlies certain human behaviour, such as verbal abuse, impatience, aggressiveness, intolerance and so on. Though we can choose to accept this violence as being normal, it is important to underline that it is not inevitable; it is a choice. Building a culture of peace means recognizing the presence of violence and, in particular, proposing an alternative, that is non-violence. We must find peaceful non-violent ways of expressing our dissension, impatience and aggressiveness. Violence is everyone’s business. Which is why everyone can remain vigilant and try to ensure that violence does not arise in our communities.

What Is the Best Way to Settle Our Differences?

There are three possible ways of peacefully resolving our differences, namely:

negotiation

group approach

mediation

These three approaches require dialogue. We must talk to each other and, above all, listen to each other. This requires respect, tolerance, trust and, most of all, the willingness of both parties. Each person must want to reach an agreement peacefully.

Negotiation is a formal process which occurs between two or more groups whose needs and objectives differ but which wish to reach an agreement. Since this is an interpersonal process, each negotiation is different and is influenced by each party’s aptitudes and style.[4]

The parties present in a negotiation are not necessarily equal. For example, parents and children can negotiate about meal times. Employers can negotiate with employees about work conditions. And since governments and parents have more power than children and employees, we say that the parties are not equal.

The group approach is more informal. This approach is most often used within one group. For example, we can settle our differences among friends. Nonetheless, the group approach can also be used between two groups. Neighbours can decide to meet informally to decide the exact place where a fence will be set. This approach, however, is only effective when the two groups are equal or when everyone agrees to move forward and find a solution to the problem.

Negotiation and the group approach require that both parties be willing, tolerant, respectful and, most of all, trusting. Unfortunately, these ingredients, which are necessary if negotiations or the group approach are to succeed, are not always available. This is where a third approach becomes useful, namely mediation, which is used to resolve conflicts which seem insolvable.

When groups or individuals think that their differences are irreconcilable, their relations are often extremely tense and distrustful. Strong feelings of anxiety, anger or hostility are not conducive to dialogue and reconciliation. In such situations, neither negotiation nor the group approach are effective. Mediation has the advantage of providing parties with a discussion forum where they can express their concerns and worries with the help of third party.

Mediation is a communication process which helps to rebuild trust among individuals or groups through the presenceof a third party. The role of this third party, who is often called the mediator or arbitrator, is to help the adversaries to reach an agreement. The third party begins by ensuring that a climate of trust exists. Once this climate is re-established, dialogue and negotiation can begin and thus lead to the resolution of the disagreement.

If it is to be effective, mediation has numerous prerequisites. First, the parties must agree on the use of mediation and the choice of the mediator. Second, the mediator must be fair and unbiased. If these conditions are not present, a climate of trust among the mediator and the parties involved in the conflict cannot be established. The mediator’s mandate is not to make the decisions or find the solutions for these parties, but rather to help them reach these decisions and solutions themselves.[5]

Mediation is a commonly used conflict resolution process. It is thus used in international circles to settle differences between countries, at the national level to resolve differences between organizations and in our private lives to help solve problems such as a separation. It can also be used in schools to resolve conflicts between students. This is called peer mediation. In schools or work places, peer mediation can be an attractive solution. Indeed, peer mediation, contrary to mediation, means that the mediator comes from the same environment as the two parties, such as a fellow student or worker. Making people from the immediate environment responsible for the peaceful resolution of a conflict can be quite effective.

Negotiation

• Occurs between two or more groups
• Does not require that parties be equals, e.g. parents/children, employers/employees
• Is a formal process conducted around a table, in a specific room, etc
• Success depends on the characteristics and willingness of the parties
• Requires a climate of trust from the outset
• Is different from one negotiation to the next

Group Approach

• Normally takes place within a group, e.g. friends, employees of the same company
• Works best when people have the same relative power
• Is often an informal daily process, e.g. “Where will we go to eat? What film will we see?”
• Requires good-will from all the parties
• Requires a climate of trust

Mediation

• Occurs between two or more groups
• Is a formal process
• Is effective where negotiations or the group approach have failed
• Requires the presence of a mediator (arbitrator)
• Requires that each party agree on the choice of a mediator
• Requires the mediator to encourage dialogue and re-establish a climate of trust among the parties
• Requires that the mediator be fair and unbiased
• Occurs between parties of equal or unequal power
• Can take place between peers

	Learning Activities for Peaceful Conflict Resolution 1. A simulated mediation can be organized in which people play the role of the mediator or one of the opposing parties. This simulation will be more effective, however, if a conflict resolution expert is present. 2. A simulated group approach can be organized to resolve conflicts that best lend themselves to the group approach. As with the above activity, this simulation will be more effective with the help of a conflict resolution expert. 3. A simulated negotiation can be organized in which people play the role of the negotiator or one of the opposing parties. As with the first two activities, this simulation will be more effective with the help of a conflict resolution expert. 4. A workshop can be organized in your school or workplace in order to present other ways of resolving conflicts than through violence. 5. A conference can be organized based on the theme of conflict resolution in our daily lives.

[1] See the fact sheet, “What Is the Manifesto 2000?” [2] This is dealt with in the fact sheet entitled, “Is Peace in the World a Utopian Dream? The Role of the United Nations” [3] Gage Canadian Dictionary, 1983 [4] Basic Negotiating Tips, http://www.work911.com/articles/negotiate.htm [5] Adapted from the YouCAN document entitled Peer Mediation, prepared for the March 2000 conference.